it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
