thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
