you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
