If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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