Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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