im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
