He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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