I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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