i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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