Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
