So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
