How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
