Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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