Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
