For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
