Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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