why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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