I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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