I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
