i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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