i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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