Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
