just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
