Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
