he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
