i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
