Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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