Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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