i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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