My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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