He passed out mid-signature
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
