My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm passing your future prison.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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