is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
