She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
