I have demons in me.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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