Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
