there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My feet surprised me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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