ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
