glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
