yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
As shirtless as possible
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
