Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
