yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
