I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
