Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
