ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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