so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
