The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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