meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
