Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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