one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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